two of us
by piston heart
Summary: This is a thank you. —LelouchC.C., set around the end of the series.


**A/N: **First time writing this pairing as more than something implied. Mhm, this isn't my favorite thing I've ever written, but I don't think it's my worst. I'll let you judge for yourself.

**Disclaimer: **The fact that I put a disclaimer pretty much explains it.

**Spoilers: **For C.C.'s past, and I pretty much implied the ending of the whole series. Just to be safe, I wouldn't read this unless you've seen all the episodes.

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**two of us  
**

C.C. had never understood love, and she never understood why she couldn't be loved.

During her childhood, it was something utterly foreign to her. She would sit alone, hands on knees, watching the other children play and laugh and scream in delight and, occasionally, pain. Not that she saw many children. Being in the position she was, she was often isolated, and those that she did now tended to exclude her. _Witch,_ they'd call her, twisting and pulling on locks of her hair.

When the nun came and offered her the power, she accepted it without a second thought. It was, after all, everything she had ever wanted. Love was a twisted, selfish emotion, anyway; what did it matter if she achieved it through contemptible means?

It took her a long time, until everyone loved her and she raked her fingernails down her arm so someone could hate her again, that she realized that this was not love. This was devotion, adoration; this was blindsided loyalty, lovers who saw not the reality but the things which they wanted to see. She would scream at them, call them worthless, tell them she was using them, and they would still follow her. They would forgive her, smile through her yelling. She realized that she pitied them and couldn't take this any longer the day she saw her reflection, both eyes the red of Geass, and looked away.

She wanted to die. Several times, she tried, but someone would always stop her. Eventually, the nun grew bored and gave her the Code. After that, when no one loved her, she tried even more and no one stopped her. She stabbed herself in the gut, attached chains to her ankles and threw herself into the river, and yet nothing worked.

Immortality jaded her. Now, her only wish was to die, but she couldn't. And she was still alone. As much as she loathed the idea of someone liking her, she wanted a companion.

Several times, she had this chance. She conspired with great men and women, and in turn, inspired them. Some wanted her as a beau, and others were only looking for a bit of company, someone to talk to. She found kindred spirits in these. They were both lonely, and this was an answer. She was a muse for some, and a gypsy to others: always hanging at the edges of vision, blurred and mysterious. It gave her a purpose.

And she always, always kept her distance. Until Lelouch.

He was... different. She'd known those more eminent than him. But there was a certain way he did things, the way he treated her... Not like a muse or a companion or a lover, but a partner. An equal. Almost like a friend, in the way they bantered and he let her sleep in his bed without anything occurring, or either of them expecting more than the other could give.

She'd never had a friend before. It was an odd sensation, for once not being idolized as something unique and separate from the rest of humanity. But then the feelings started.

They complicated things. It made her... care for him, in a way more than partners should. She tried many things to stop this, blockade them before they could bloom into something more, but it never worked. Even when she told herself he would die on day and she'd be left alone, the renewal of an old cycle, they made themselves at home.

C.C. knew, inevitably, that he would die. There were barely any other options. With so much blood, of allies and enemies alike on his hands, he would no longer wish to live. He may cover it up with talk about how this was a sacrifice for peace, but it all seemed like an excuse to her. He'd accomplished all he'd wanted to do, and done things he never wanted. It was simple.

After planning the Zero Requiem, she started to isolate herself more and more. It would only hurt more if she was reminded of all the things she would miss after he left— no, died on— her. One day she was in his bedroom with Cheese-kun, looking out the window. She would not miss this place when she left. She would not miss him.

"Stop hiding, witch," he said, appearing in the doorway like magic. But she had lived long enough to know that the only magic in this world was that of the Geass, and that he had sneaked up on her during her thoughts.

"Whatever would give you the idea that I'm hiding?" she said pleasantly, turning to look at him with an innocent look on her face. "I'm merely enjoying the view with Cheese-kun."

He snorted and took off that ridiculous hat, placing it on the bedside table. "You're in my room when I'm not there, and not there when I am. I think that could be considered avoiding someone."

"Or maybe it's just coincidence," she replied, lying prostrate, cushioned by Cheese-kun. "Anyway, I thought you'd be happy. You can spend your last days with your real friends, and not a partner of business. Don't you like that?"

"I have no real friends, anymore." He closed his eyes and sat down on the sofa in the middle of the room, crossing his legs. "You can only be a true friend to someone when you know both their faces, and accept both. I have made the whole world dislike me—"

"—deliberately, essentially making them hate you so no one feels any pain when you die," she finished for him, with a roll of her eyes to the ceiling. "Honestly, Lelouch, I thought you'd know better than that. Being lonely during your last days isn't a pleasant way to die."

"It isn't a very pleasant way to live either, is it?" he asked her. He opened his eyes and stared straight at her, at the fingers that had dug into the plush fabric of her toy. Her shoulders were tense, her figure outlined in conflicting light and shadow. But then she relaxed, breathing out a long sigh and sitting up.

"Yes, but I've hardened myself to it," she agreed. "Eventually, someone will come along and I'll give them a Code. But you're wasting the time you have left. I have infinity to fix wounds and no longer regret things. You have days."

It took him several seconds for him to say something in reply. She had opened her mouth, ready to speak again, when he interrupted her.

"I would like to— I am spending my days with my last true friend," he said. She felt her eyes widen a fraction in surprise, and then decided to think over what she was about to say.

"Thank you," she whispered, and smiled. Her eyes were open. Later on in her life, when everything were just memories, she'd pull this one out like a remorseful woman pulled out photographs and go over every detail, how bittersweet the moment felt. "No one has ever called me their friend before."

She walked over to him. This was the condemnation of distance, of putting space between immortality and mortality, just for a moment. This was a thank you.

C.C. kissed him, this time because she felt it was right, not because she wanted to give him back his memories. He kissed back lightly.

It lasted for only a moment before she pulled away. "Thank you," she said for the second time. The words fell heavy in the air, against her skin.

"You're welcome," and his smile was so bright she wished to cut out her heart and put it on a pedestal, so it wouldn't ache anymore— and he said her name.

- - - -

"Did I say it right, this time?"

"Maybe. I'll have to think it over."

"I'll take it as a yes."

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**A/N: **The end is a reference to when Lelouch learns C.C.'s name. From what I remember (I only watched it about a week or two ago), she acted overjoyed and made him say it again, at which she commented that he didn't say it right. But they were both smiling and laughing. The moment just stood out to me. ^^

_Feedback appreciated, especially in this case when I'm handling too mega-difficult characters! _


End file.
